Silence

Recently, I have been reflecting on the value of silence and the frequent absence of silence in my life. During my first year of college, I was overwhelmed by my inability to find alone time, and it seemed even more impossible to find a quiet place to reflect. Even when I was alone, my phone constantly bombarded me with social media, messages from friends and family, and emails from LMU. Had it not been for my theology class I took first semester, I may have endured an entire semester of nonstop noise.

One of my weekly assignments for my theology class was to spend a full hour in silence. Preferably, we were supposed to reflect on the class and our impending 20 page papers, but our professor encouraged us to use the silence to decipher the dramatic changes we were going through in our first semester.

I went for hour long walks in silence, I did laundry in silence, I sat in silence, I prayed in silence, I danced in silence - all to complete this homework assignment. I firmly believe this practice kept me sane when the noise of college seemed too much to bear.

During my second semester, I stopped my hour of silence. Balancing a 20 credit load with a job, church choir, and two dance shows, I justified my inability to continue the practice as a lack of time. Looking back, I had very little time, but I replaced my hour of silence with an hour of TV or reading or coffee shop sitting. All these activities are indeed enjoyable, but they did not calm me, at all.

For the previous two weeks of RA training, I have returned to moments of silence. Rather than using an hour once a week, I have tried finding moments of silence the majority of my days. The walk to the gym, the quiet fifteen minutes before I go to bed, and the alone time I had sitting in the dance studio calm my soul and quiet my ever-thinking mind.

Sometimes, sleep is more important, but I cannot sleep if I am stressed, so the silence helps me function. I am so grateful for my single room, because every time I open my door, somebody needs my help, wants to talk to me, or tries to get my attention. I love this because I love my new job, my new coworkers, and my new sense of purpose.

But at the end of the day, a little, or a lot, of silence helps me be.