Dance is Hard (But So is Life)

It's October, and I'm enjoying the cool evenings and mornings that make me reflect even more than usual. I am approaching my 19th year as a dancer, a strange anniversary when I cannot even remember a time in my life when I was not dancing.

Dance has been my longest companion, my first love, and my greatest challenge. I have never fought with anyone as much as I fight with dance. Still, it is dance that gets me out of bed every morning, dance that makes me take care of myself, and dance that makes me work as hard as I do.

Sometimes, I look around campus and wonder what it would be like to be a "normal" student. Of course, there is no real normal, but I cannot help but wonder what would my life have been like if I had just been an English major or studied Spanish? I know for certain I would have had a lot more free time.

As much as I love dance, there is a tiny part of me wistful for a sense of normalcy - a major that would lead to a stable job, one that would let me have free evenings without rehearsals, one that would not require me to sleep so much. Sustaining my dance training over the past 19 years has been the longest test of my endurance. No matter how many miles I run, bike, or swim, no matter how many hours I spend in the gym and studio, no amount of training ever really prepares me for that first plie on Monday mornings or that last hour of rehearsals on Fridays.

All my life, I have wanted to be an artist. Whether my heart pulled toward playing the violin, singing, acting, or dancing, I knew this is the path I wanted to follow. I surrendered any "normalcy" years ago.

I was struggling in class this week, and in a moment of despair, I told a professor, "This is really hard." He looked at me and said, "Being homeless is hard. This is dance." A bit of a shellshock, yes, but he was absolutely right.

Despite the blisters, sore muscles, and ache-y joints, whenever people ask me about my major, I have nothing but joy to share. How blessed I am to wake up every day and walk to ballet class. How happy I am to have a major that makes me take care of myself. How excited I am for my future in dance.