Summer Spontaneity

Usually, I write my blog posts early Sunday morning at my desk with a cup of tea in hand, but for this one, I am nestled in my lofted bed with my Hydroflask and twinkly lights on.

I am always trying to be more spontaneous - it was my resolution for 2016 - and three years later, I still struggle. In most situations, I find it easier to say no than yes, often because I have other obligations, and sometimes, because I am scared. My brain likes to ask what if questions until I have decided it is not safe, smart, or sensible to do nearly anything out of my ordinary routine.

After a gloomy start to my summer in LA, I decided to take matters into my own hands this week. I went to the dance studios last Sunday afternoon and danced my heart out for 45 minutes nonstop. During the year, free time in the studio is scarce, but I felt so exhausted post-junior year that I could barely bring myself to get to the gym, let alone the studios. But after a lazy weekend, I stood up from the couch and knew I needed to dance.

Then, I went to a new yoga class (not once, but twice). I found a friend to go to ballet with on Tuesdays and Thursdays.I met a new friend at my favorite crepes place.  I ran 6 miles on a whim. I hosted a friend over for drinks on a Saturday night. I tried new machines at the gym. I watched the Bachelorette and did laundry past my usual 10pm bedtime. Plus, I have plans to get ice cream on a Monday afternoon because my class is cancelled.

When the sun came out on Saturday, I knew I could not mope around in bed anymore. By myself, I took a Lyft partway to the beach and walked the rest. I enjoyed the first sunny day in months on the sand - my resolution for this year was to go to the beach more. I was able to chat with my parents and a friend studying abroad, so the solo beach trip was anything but lonely. On the way back, I stopped at Starbucks to get a free drink with a reward and walked home with a gigantic iced chai and a full heart.

Today, I went to Mass by myself, and just like last week, found myself sitting with a friend. I am usually spoiled by my group of choir friends, but since there is no choir in the summer, I feel awkward sitting in the congregation. Choosing to go to Mass on a summer Sunday is always a bit spontaneous, but I never regret it.

After Mass, I stayed long enough to actually talk to people, instead of scurrying off to do homework. Then, I ended up getting free brunch through a service group organization, and some friends and I ran an errand to get milk tea boba for our choir director while he worked. The whole ordeal lasted more than four hours from start to finish, but it did not matter because I had the time.

To take advantage of the second sunny day in a row, I ended my Sunday with a few hours at the pool. I forgot my headphones, so I enjoyed the silence and the sound of kids splashing each other. In the silence, I found myself looking back on this crazy week and how this might be as spontaneous as I ever get.

Mostly, I am just filled with gratitude for the summer time (and sleep) that is giving me the energy to say yes to opportunities, rather than no. All I needed was a little vitamin D to be brave.