A Letter to All My Exes

Gratitude Challenge - Week 2 - Spouse/Significant Other

It is only the second week of the gratitude challenge, and I am already struggling. The second week is supposed to be devoted to my spouse or significant other, but I am 17 years old. And, I am also single. So I decided to alter this post a little to fit my life.

Dear Ex Boyfriends,

I hold a lot of respect for you. I never dated a terrible guy, and I am blessed to have both excellent ex boyfriends and guy friends. The true blessing you bestowed upon me is one of knowledge. After each breakup and failed relationship, I discovered more about myself, a key part of life. Without these life lessons, I would not be the woman I am today. Thank you for aiding me in this self-discovery.

You taught me about the importance of strength, in all situations, physical, mental, and emotional. I learned from you that I am fiercely independent, and I need to surround myself with people that respect this quality. I value this independence more than ever before. From you, I also realized the value of my time. I learned that a relationship cannot be via electronic devices only and that true communication is the key to the health of couples. Sadly, you taught me that best friends do not make the best boyfriends. I learned that losing my first love hurts the most, and every ensuing breakup brings back the searing pain of my first love. You taught me what it feels like to be used and pushed too far. You showed me that there has to be a balance of physical and emotional needs in a relationship. For the first time, I experienced the feelings of jealousy and true anger. But the most important lesson you taught me is that I need to wait for the man that will love me for me. I am never going to change for a guy. I realized the power I have in my own relationships and life.

Because of you, I am a strong, independent, powerful, and intelligent young woman. Thank you for this gift.

Sincerely,
Gillian

Because of this process of failed relationships, I recently compiled a list of the five most important qualities I want in a guy.

1. Motivation - This is key for me. I have places to go and people to see. If my boyfriend does not have this kind of attitude, life becomes extremely difficult.
2. Faithful - This quality refers both to faith in God and faith in me. I want my future boyfriend to have both.
3. Intelligence/personality - This is a given. A boyfriend should be more than just arm candy at parties!
4. Empathetic - I had a boyfriend who always diminished my problems. He did teach me that there are people in the world who suffer much more than I do, and I am grateful for that lesson. However, sometimes I need someone to say, "I'm so sorry," and just give me a hug.
5. Athletic/attractive - Cliché, yes, but a girl can dream.

Thank you to all the guys in my life who have taught me to love myself first and wait for the man who will love me as I am.